BORDERLINE

good people do bad things too...

Yeah, I totally ripped Tove Lo.

This song breaks my fucking heart, and here I have it on repeat.

It reminds me of every single ugly thing I’ve done. Every single thing I’ve done to the person I love most. She’s my best friend, the mother of my children, she’s the person of whom I take the most advantage of.

“I can change, I can change with just one more lie”

I’m a liar, a cheat, and a thief. -that’s program reminding me of who I am. But I just can’t stop. I lie about everything… I’m tired.

I’m tired of selling this facade.

I’m tired of these feelings having so much control.

I can’t talk gratitude in the rooms, I haven’t shared in about two weeks.

I know Roberta is driving, but I have to say this:

I’m struggling.

I feel like whatever I do, or do not do, is wrong, That my kids don’t respect me, that my wife doesn’t value me. I’m feeling like a maid, not a family member. Everyday I get up and I clean the same house I cleaned before bed.

I’m tired, and I’m struggling.

I’m not on the edge of a cliff or a roof-top, but I am in that particular headspace where I believe everyone would be better off had I never existed.

back to program

I know I’m taking life way too seriously, but is it too much to be.. just recognized once in a while?

regards,

BPD.